I find myself sitting here exactly 40 mins before the moment I was born 34 years ago, filled with so much love and appreciation for my life. This is a far cry from where I found myself five days ago when I was feeling pretty down right shitty about my birthday. I normally really love my birthday, in fact I usually celebrate a whole birth week, filled with dinners, dancing, ceremony, shopping and some kind of healing. This year however being in a new-ish place with new friendships budding, I felt an incredible loneliness in not having my tried and true friends who know me inside out nearby to celebrate with me in the ways that they know I love. The idea of having to invite these new people in my life to my birthday seemed insanely daunting. The immense fear of rejection weighing upon my heart.
In mulling these feelings over I came to the realization that I needed to be able to celebrate me on my own and honour the fact that I am a person worthy of celebrating and that others want to celebrate me too. And as I sit here nearing the end of the day and the exact time of my birth, I realize just how supported and loved I am and how spirit has once again reminded me that I am a divine being and am always cared for. Not only did I receive calls, texts and facebook messages but in sharing my feelings around this birthday, those newly budding friends have stepped into full friend mode and shown me that they care and wish to spend this day celebrating with me. This whole week has been a powerful reminder of how the fears I have only exist within me and that I am the one doing the disservice to myself and all those I come in contact with when I do not share my whole self.
So this year I wish to see myself as spirit does and all those who love me do, as I was reminded today by the beautiful words shared with me. I thank you all so much for this reminder and being apart of my life.